Photo from O Magazine online
Remember this awkward "social" visit in the hysterical movie, The Burbs? I've often wished there was someone to turn to for the "how tos" and "what ifs" of holiday entertaining. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have someone knowledgeable in the field of etiquette to bounce all those questions off we have about hosting and attending holiday parties?
Scene from movie tour, The Burbs
Well, wish no more because BNOTP is fortunate to have a Sponsor who is an expert in the field of etiquette. Cindy Haygood, the Training Director with the Etiquette & Leadership Institute is visiting today and she's helping us out with questions we sometimes have about hosting or attending dinner parties and holiday events.
The Etiquette & Leadership Institute teaches/coaches anyone who would like to be come more comfortable with the etiquette expected in both business and social situations. They also train those who would like to start their own cottage or home business, training children, young adults and others who would like to increase their confidence level in the areas of etiquette.
Remember this extravagant Christmas party in the movie-home tour of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil? What a party! This Christmas party had it all: gossip, scandal, eccentric characters, including gun-waving guests! Then there was that little matter of murder, afterwards. Yep, I think this is one party where the guests could definitely have benefited from a little etiquette training. ;)
Scene in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil home tour
Cindy, could you share some information about the classes you offer? So, exactly what does the Etiquette & Leadership Institute® do?
We are the nation’s training company that certifies and prepares etiquette consultants to teach ages 8 – 24. The week of training is dynamic, fun-filled, to motivate and inspire the next generation of etiquette ambassadors in their communities. We teach social, leadership skills along with social dance in our own community so when people come to our training we share with them exactly what we do in our career.
Open Houses are popular events during the holiday season. What are some some tips for hosting a successful Open House.
Send your invitations out about 4 weeks in advance. This time of year is full of office parties, neighborhood parties, book club parties, family gatherings, holiday symphony concerts, etc. If you want an event on your friends’ calendars, give them plenty of notice!
Always have a greeter at the door (or have different greeters covering shifts!). It does not have to be the owners of the home. Pick someone who is great at greeting and hospitality and ask them to help you with manning the door.
Think DIY for the guests. Because people are always coming and going at an Open House, the host cannot be constantly fixing food and drink. Assign duties to eager friends, and give yourself the freedom to meet and greet and introduce your guests.
An Open House means welcoming a lot of people into your home. Use music in the background as a “supporting cast”—and not so loud that people cannot converse.
What are the three most common mistakes hosts tend to make when hosting a party?
One mistake is serving food that your guests cannot eat! If you are planning a menu, ask your guests about any food allergies or special diets (including vegetarian or vegan). A great way to ask is to simply say, “Are there any foods you are not able to eat?” Once you get the conversation going, you will feel more comfortable about your menu.
Another mistake is to over complicate the event with never-before-tried dishes…a sure ingredient for disaster. Instead of being ambitious, think simple and streamlined for success. Stay within your comfort zone and enjoy your guests.
A third mistake is a lack of organization. Do all you can before the event—lay out all of your serving utensils, for example. In the past, I have forgotten to take something completely prepared out of the refrigerator! So now I make small labels of all of my menu items and place them on the sideboard. No one knows that they are there because the dish goes over the label, and I haven’t forgotten anything. Being organized and creating a timeline of the evening works wonders for your peace of mind and enjoyment!
What are the three most common mistakes guests make when they are invited or attend a party?
One very common error is a complete lack of correspondence after receiving an invitation. Guests should RSVP to let the host know whether they are coming. Some invitations say RSVP and others say Regrets Only, and there is a difference. If your invitation says RSVP, you should call, give your name, and say whether you are attending or if you are not attending—you must let the host/hostess know either way.
If your invitation says Regrets Only, call only if you cannot attend. If you can attend the event, you do not need to call, but you certainly do need to be present!
A second mistake is being late. There is perhaps nothing ruder than showing up late for an event that involves food and beverages and has a set beginning time. Whatever the reason is, please call and let your host/hostess know if you are running late and give your host the freedom to go on with dinner without your presence. Arriving late just because you couldn’t get your schedule together shows that you don’t have respect for the other person’s time.
When invited to a party, when is it appropriate to bring a hostess gift?
Being an overnight house guest always calls for a hostess/host gift. You may bring a host/hostess gift to a dinner party, though it is not required. Bringing such a gift is a way to say “thank you,” and to share a small item you enjoy with a friend.
If the party is given to honor or announce an event or person(s), then you would not bring a hostess gift. But, writing a thank-you note after the event to the hosts/hostesses is always appropriate.
What items are appropriate for giving as a host/hostess gift?
Some ideas of hostess gifts are: a bottle of wine you love, a favorite printed quote on quality paper, a home baked goodie for later enjoyment, or an item for which your area of the world is known. One item I keep to give is a small round tin of tea that holds five sachets. It is a very small item, but it is something I love, so I like to share it with others.
Keep in mind the cultural, religious and personal backgrounds of the persons to whom you are gifting. In other words, I love to give peanuts and pecans because they are Georgia products, but I always find a way in conversation to determine whether anyone in the household is allergic to these items.
I know the Etiquette & Leadership Institute offers classes for children and young adults, as well as those wishing to start their own business in etiquette training, but do you also offer classes for adults who feel they could use a refresher in this area?
Yes, certainly! Many times, adults find themselves needing the polish to move up the corporate ladder and they want to distinguish themselves from the competition. One sure way is to be confident in dining and in social situations. We also offer classes for those that need to be comfortable with dancing at formal occasions. For us, teaching and helping people get ready for important moments in their life is fun and gratifying for us.
Cindy, thanks so much for sharing all this great information. I'll definitely be bookmarking this post for future reference since it will be a favorite to reread this time each year, or anytime I need a reminder before hosting or attending a party or social event.
For more information about available courses at the Etiquette & Leadership Institute, you may visit their online site by clicking the button below.
Are you hosting a party this year in your home? Will you be attending a Christmas or holiday party? Any challenges or concerns? Leave a comment and tell us all about it. Together we can figure it out!
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