Wednesday, 20 July 2011

i'm excellent, but i'll get better ♥

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i just wanted to write my thoughts and feelings for a minute. i apologize for the lack of blogging lately but things have been really busy at work. things right now in my life are really good. i got moved to another department where i work which changed my schedule from 10am-7pm to 8am-5pm. i love it. it's such a good feeling to get home at 5:15 and eat dinner, watch some tv and have a few minutes extra before 7pm. i love it. it just gives me a lot of extra time in my day.

yesterday i got a text message from my aunt. we are having some major family drama right now. and not to go into detail, but pretty much my parents are a tad bit crazy and treating the rest of my family very poorly. my aunt was just telling me that she was sad about a few things including my grandpa's health. i had spoken with my grandma about a week ago and she told me that my grandpa had an appointment to meet with his doctor again. my aunt's text triggered my memory and i decided to call my grandma.

my grandpa had melanoma cancer and went through chemo a little while ago. he had a quadruple bypass just a few years ago. he is 73 years old. his name is galen e. williams. he went to the dr just a few months ago for a little check up, had an mri and everything was good. 

he just went again a few days ago and found out that his cancer was back. it had spread to both lungs, his liver, his thyroid and his bones. he is in stage 4. 

i found this out yesterday when i called my grandma to check up and see how his appointment went a few days before. i am so sad to hear that he is not doing well. my grandma was talking on the phone and is really accepting and just taking it all in. she was telling me about their week and things that they had done together. she then put grandpa on the phone.

he came on the phone and as he calls me said "hello paislea-poo. how are ya?"

i then told him that i was doing alright until i talked to grandma and she gave me the information. of course i then asked how he was feeling.

he responded saying, "i'm excellent, but i'll get better."

at that point i lost it. i started crying. i was just too sad and scared to keep in my tears. grandpa also started crying. i was trying to be brave like he was being brave, but it was really hard. i love love love my grandpa. he is just so sweet and so funny. always full of jokes and laughter. he is the most positive and kind loving person that i've ever met.

marcos was sitting with me and i could tell that he was very sad as well. my family are not fans of my relationship with marcos but my grandpa has always been accepting and kind and loving. he and marcos get along really well. they have similar interests and are really cute together. they seem to open up to each other and have a cute friendship.

as we ended the call, we told each other that we loved each other. and he told me that he might be in utah sometime in the next few weeks. i'm so glad i got to tell him that i loved him. the last time i spoke with him on the phone, he didn't have his hearing aids in, and when i told him that i loved him at the end of the call, he didn't hear me and just handed the phone back to my grandma. i was sad about that so i'm glad he heard me this time and knows how much he means to me and how much i love him.

i am just trying to be positive and of course, continue forward. i just needed to get a few things off my chest.

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