Showing posts with label q and a. Show all posts
Showing posts with label q and a. Show all posts

Monday, 7 November 2011

Red Hair 101

Hey Honeybees! I get countless comments, tweets, emails, etc about my red hair and how I attain/maintain it so I thought I'd elaborate on my original How-To video (and my Hair FAQ video) by doing a text based post I can direct people to in case they don't have the ability to watch the vlogs! 

I first started dying my hair red in 10th grade. I was more of a copper/ginger than my bright red like I have now, but I was in love. I've kind of always secretly wanted natural "ginger" red hair but my hair is naturally almost-black! I went back brown for many, many years. I was sold on having natural colored hair! I loved being a brunette but for some reason I was really desperate for change after my first summer in NYC so I headed to my local Sally's, picked up some red dye, developer, and all the essentials, then dyed my hair myself in my bathroom. This was huge. Partially because I was letting go of my natural, perfectly even, hair color, and mainly because I had never once dyed my hair myself. I had never even dyed a friend's hair! I was heading into uncharted territory. The first dye made my hair a shiny auburn color, but I wanted RED RED! So I dyed it again in a few weeks time. Each time I dyed it, it became more vibrant. Before I knew it I had shockingly red hair... the sunlight caused my head to basically look like a giant, fluffy tomato. Awesome! 

I kept up my routine of redying my hair every 2-3 weeks for the next 2 years almost. Then I decided red was old news and I wanted to go back dark. Well that was an adventure. But not nearly as accident-ridden as the move back to red in the middle of summer! I decided to use color remover on my hair to lighten the dark dye, then use my typical "For Dark Hair Only" dye to make it red. Um, don't do that. I had a basketball head for weeks! Like, bright orange. It was awful. It took a lot of trial and error, and a couple months worth of dying, to get it back perfect. Now I'm finally back to my favorite red that I missed so much. Yeah, it was a lot of work. But hopefully the rest of this post will help you achieve your bright red hair without all the hassle I went through the second time around!


For starters.... the stuff I use on my hair is:
L'oreal Excellence "For Dark Hair Only" dye in Red Fire
L'oreal Oreor Creme Developer (9, 20 and 30 volume)
John Frieda Radiant Red shampoo + conditioner
Chi Silk Infusion + Infra shampoo
Biolage Detangling Solution

Tricks and tips about the dye I use --
Do NOT use this dye unless you have naturally dark hair... and by that I mean do NOT use this dye if you have any dye on your hair currently. If your hair is dyed black/brown, this is not for you. If your hair is naturally dark but you have any dye on it, this is not the product for you. If you have blonde hair, this product is not for you. This product is only for people who currently have dark, dye-free hair!

I really can't stress that enough. I get daily YouTube comments, emails, and questions asking "Will this work for me if..." The answer is: No, unless you have dark, dye-free hair. Sure, you can use it if you have anything else, but the results will not be what you see here. That's all I'm sayin'! You might get a color you totally love, but you won't get what you see in my hair (I simply don't want to be held responsible for basketball head like I had! :P) If you want to try it, go for it! Just don't blame me if it doesn't turn out as planned!

If this is the first time you're using this dye -- You can stand to use 30 volume developer like the box calls for. If this is a subsequent use of the dye -- I recommend using 9 or 20 volume, depending on the situation. Developer can damage your hair! Don't fry it like I have in the past. (Not going to lie, my hair isn't in the best condition, because I've made a lot of mistakes in my "trial and error" approach! Hence this post! haha) I mix up my dye and developer in an applicator bottle and shake it up real good. Then I apply it to my hair. I let it sit for 30-45 minutes and then I rinse with lukewarm water.

If you can bend over the bathtub and always wash your hair with cold water, go for it! Sadly our loft only has a shower so I have to stomach quick, cold/lukewarm showers. Hot water will fade your color faster. But many people still use it.

Try to limit how much you wash your hair when it's dyed red. I'm not saying go be gross or have greasy hair, but try and utilize dry shampoo as much as possible to keep the red lasting longer. Red is probably not going to be the color for you if you are obsessed with washing your hair daily. Currently I wash my hair 1-2 times a week. I use Pssssst dry shampoo on all other days (hence my never-ending tangles! Dry shampoo will rid your hair of natural oils, thus making it slightly more prone to tangling.) This is where Biolage Detangling Solution comes in. I cannot write enough great things about this product. I have a giant bottle of it in our shower and it's a heaven send! 

Red shampoos and conditioners -- I use John Frieda's Radiant Red daily shampoo + conditioner. I've tried the "Ravishing Red" stuff in the past and it was absolutely horrible. It stripped my hair of it's color and I threw out the bottles immediately. This is just my personal opinion! I've found that JFRR works best for me, but you might feel differently!

I've also used CHI Infra shampoo in the past with good results. I'd limit this to once or twice a month if possible though. Before I redye my hair, I always do a leave-in conditioning treatment... maybe a few hours, maybe overnight. Then I rinse and let my hair "dirty" for a day or two before dying it. Leave in conditioner will also strip some of the brightness of your dye so be sure you do it toward the tail end of your routine. 

To make your hair shiny and soft -- I recommend CHI Silk Infusion. A tiny dime-size amount will work wonders on how your hair appears. Just be careful not to saturate your roots or your hair will look greasy.

If you're going to dye hair extensions to match your hair -- I recommend trying to find extensions as close to your shade of hair as possible (pre-dye). You can dye them the exact same way you dye your hair. I recommend a box of dye for your extensions, and a box of dye for your hair. You can leave the dye in your extensions for as long as you need (I've even left it in overnight before.) Obviously I don't mean dye them with them clipped in... but on a trash bag or old towel, or even in your bathtub!

So here are some quick FAQs about red hair that I get daily... in case you're too lazy to read up there! ;)
  • What shampoo + conditioner do you use? John Frieda Radiant Red, along with a leave-in conditioner and/or CHI Infra shampoo.
  • How often do you have to dye your hair? Every 2-3 weeks. I try to stretch it as long as possible, but I have really really dark roots, and red hair fades incredibly quick.
  • How much does it cost you to dye it each time? The dye is roughly $6 and the developer is $7 for a large bottle. Then I buy an applicator bottle and gloves. Each time it's roughly $10 or a little bit less probably. Maybe $20/mo total.
  • Will that dye work if I have...  The dye I use is intended for naturally dark haired people that currently have no other dyes on their hair. I have used the dye on lightened hair and the outcome was not a pretty one. I do not recommend it unless you currently have dark hair without the assistance of dye.
  • Always do a patch test with your dye if you've never dyed your hair or if this is a new dye to you. You dont' want to end up with a horrible skin reaction, burns, or an infection! Be smart! ;)
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Please note that I am of course, not a hair stylist in any way. I only know what I've learned from my own experiences and from my best friend Jessica (who is a hair stylist... and she shakes her finger at me daily!). My method may not be the best, most advised, or anything of the sort, but it is what I do. My hair hasn't fallen out yet, so that's a good sign. Maybe? ;) Goodness knows I'm willing to learn some pointers from anyone myself!

Any other bottled-redheads out there got any tricks and tips they'd like to share? Love a certain product? Have a better way of doing it than me? Please share below!

Friday, 14 May 2010

FormStack Questions

It's been a hot minute since I've done an actual FormSpring (which is NOW FormStack?) post on KaelahBee.com, since about 6 months ago they came out with the snazzy FormSpring.Me accounts. However I did the anonymous survey and so many of your replied, thank you! Most of you buzzed over to my FormSpring.Me account to ask questions but I did still get a few on the surveys, so I'm going to answer them here! CLICK HERE if you want to take the anonymous survey, or CLICK HERE if you'd like to see my FormSpring.Me page :)

Onward to the questions and answers!

1. I want to major in fashion merch. but I'm not positive where I'll be living at (my fiance is in the Marine Corps), and let's face it...certain states do not suit the life of a fashion merch major. Should I do it anyways, or should I try to pick another major?
That is the truth! Dependent on what part of Fashion Merchandising you're looking to get into, there are opportunities in the most hum-drum of states! Working for a large retailer like Macy's or Dillard's may not seem like the dream life to some people, but hey, it's a job and someone's gotta do it! As someone who started their college career as a Fashion Merchandising (and Design) major, the first thing I stress is make sure this is what you REALLY want to do with your life! It only took me 12 months of education to hate it so much I switched (to graphic design, which I love!) I'm not sure what sort of towns they assign marines to, but have you thought about working your way up to your own online store? You could stock things and be a fashion buyer, and sell them online, regardless of your location! But in the same regard, be aware of the economy. I thought I was fine getting into a creative degree in 2006, but 2010 shows a much dimmer light at the end of the tunnel, ya know? It's nothing that can't be overcome though! Just exhaust all opportunities and options! At the end of the day, you need to do what makes YOU happy. :)

2. Do you have any blogging tips? I'm just starting a new blog over at creativebiostar.blogspot.com and I'm really excited for this project. You're really experienced and have ran your blog for some time now! Infact your dedication is a big inspiration.
Well thank ya! As far as tips go for starting out... I found it really really helpful to make myself a "blogging schedule" that I tried to stick to, just to get me in the habit of updating every day and giving my readers something to expect and to check back for (for instance, if someone loved tattoos, they knew to check back on Tuesdays for my Tattoo Tuesday posts!). Also, only blog about things that REALLY matter to you! I see bloggers make this mistake all the time (I've done it too!). Blogging about things simply for the sake of blogging or writing about something that doesn't truly interest you just to get a new style or reader. Your audience will be able to tell if you're being sincere or fake. Just keep your readers and your blog's reputation in the forefront of your mind. Good luck! :D

3. How are things going in the housing situation since the flood? I live in southeast Texas and have been hit by many hurricanes so I know the stress the brings.
They're okay. It's rough living with my parents after being gone out on my own for 4 years. They let us come and go as we please, so it's not like they're imposing strict rules on us. It's just the sharing of the house and all three dogs running around and the fact we're in a town with the smallest WalMart in the country! We miss being able to go out on our date nights and being 2 minutes from a movie theater and wonderful food. It's humbling though. It's probably what we needed. My parents have been so gracious to open their home to us and we couldn't be more grateful. It's helping us save money, so that's good! :) I have a feeling when we move back to Franklin into our own place in August, we're going to really see the toll it took on our belongings when we don't have anything in our place :P But I still consider us so so lucky and I've met so many wonderful strangers who have became friends because of it.

4. What is your biggest beauty secret?
This is a tough one... but in reality, Extra Virgin Olive Oil! I have really dry skin and even the best moisturizers don't help. I dab it on my face with a cotton ball every once in a while (once is sufficient for like 2 weeks) and I also use it on my hair when it feels dried out from dying it so much. A little goes such a long way and I think it's a wonderful wonderful home-remedy for a lot of beauty bummers! Give it a try!

5. The only thing I'd want to ask is can we be penpals? And I'm trying to start up my own blog but I'm having trouble getting the hang of it, tips?
Part one: Absolutely! I love having new penpals and I've been so good at responding quickly since I have nothing to do during the day! Just send away! (I'll be receiving mail here for the next 3 weeks. Anything received here after that will be forwarded to me by Mike, but I will post my NYC address once I arrive!)

Kaelah Bee
649 Thomas Avenue
Hohenwald, TN 38462
USA

and Part two! I just answered it up above! Hope that helps!

6. What kind of dye do you use? I love your hair colour.
Thanks! I use L'Oreal Excellence "For Dark Hair Only" line in Red Fire with 30 or 40 volume developer! You buy them separately at Sally Beauty Supply. :)

7. I know you've explained several times on how you stay positive but how did you make the initial change? I've tried multiple times to think positive things but I always fall back into my pessimistic ways.
This is a tough one to answer. I didn't really have a specific *iconic* moment that shifted my attitude or anything like that, but I think riding the negative people from my life helped SIGNIFICANTLY! I dumped Adam and I think that was what really pushed me in the new direction. I took notice that I deserved better from people and I wasn't giving up, but I wasn't dealing with their crap anymore. I stopped talking to certain "friends" and I just stopped focusing on the negative things in life. If someone cut me off in traffic, I chalked it up to maybe they're rushing to the hospital for someone or something. I tried to give people the benefit of the doubt; Even the ones who didn't deserve it. What good is it going to do me in the long-run to get ticked off because someone cut me off on the highway? I just write things off. So what if someone doesn't like me? Chances are likely that they don't really like ANYONE so I shouldn't feel too special... but I probably wouldn't like them either. Another thing to write off. It's a constant battle. Sometimes I let out a snide remark or something and I'll instantly regret it. So I retract it and try to act better. We all slip up... the point isn't to be perfect or overly bubbly all of the time. The point is to make a conscious effort to live a more positive lifestyle. Not only for you, but for people around you. :)

8. Do you and Mike want to get married?
Eventually, absolutely! I can picture every single little detail of our southern wedding. However, we're not going to rush into anything because in light of recent events, we're not exactly in the most ideal financial situation. :) All in due time! It's definitely something I don't want to rush or cheapen. I can't wait to throw a wonderful party for a wonderful reason with all of my wonderful family and friends! :D

9. Have you ever dyed your hair an unnatural color, like pink or something?
I have not. The most unnatural color I've ever had is what my hair is currently. But I assure you, that is not for lack of desire. I've always wanted to do a soft soft cotton candy pink but the simple truth is that my natural hair color is much much muchhhh too dark (it's almost black) and I refuse to put bleach on my hair. So red it shall stay, until/unless I decide dark dark brunette it is once more :)

10. What is a way(s) to let someone go to whom you call a first love? I don't have any friends, very little family and currently not employed so it's very difficult to keep my mind off of guilt, and the endless heartache. If this question isn't answered, it's not a problem it's just nice to get this off my chest. I understand the saying "you never forget your first love" and I don't want to forget, even if getting over my first love isn't an option, just so it seems a little easier.
I don't think you should ever "just forget". A first love is something so so so special to each individual and you associate so much to that one person. This will be the person you forever compare others to. No need to feel guilty. They always say "you grieve at the level you loved" and believe me, it's so true. If you truly loved him, it's going to take some time. Nothing about it is going to be easy, so don't expect it to be. But it's NOT impossible! So far from it! You don't have to have countless friends to get your mind off of him... what you need to do is acknowledge those feelings, and then move forward. Watch sappy movies and listen to sappy music if you need to (I know it may seem counterproductive... but in reality, it really really helped me.) But at the end of the day, you can't let one bad experience ruin it for you for the rest of your life (or ruin it for someone who could [and will] sweep you off of your feet!) Accept responsibility for your part of the relationship and vow to learn from any mistakes you made. (If you ever feel like talking, you can always email me!)

Okay, so that's that! If you want to submit your own question or take the survey, just CLICK HERE :) or, if you want to throw your advice or opinions to these curious ladies, have a go in the comment section! I'm just one girl, and my opinions are totally biased, so if you've got some goods to share whether its a sweet beauty tip or how to mend a broken heart, share with us!

xoxo

Sunday, 3 January 2010

Questions Answered: Round Four!

Haven't answered any questions from the FormSpring in a while so here you go! Feel free to ask me anything by clicking HERE! (It's anonymous!)

Round Four
Read Rounds One, Two, and Three if you'd like!

1.) I was wondering if you could do a break down, or even better a hair tutorial with pictures, of your well hair lol. I fancy it quite a bit and was wondering how you go about styling it.
I've posted a video on YouTube (see: HERE). Granted it's a year old, if not more, but it's fairly straight forward. I have extensions but you can do the very same thing with your OWN hair if you don't, simply by turning the heat down to low on both things :) If you would like a more in-depth tutorial, just let me know and I'll try to re-record one! :D Thank you, by the way!

2.) I've seen your videos on youtube on how to do your hair, and seeing as how your hair is curled on the bottom, and more wavy on the top, I was just wondering how you style it wavy like that, and also wondering if you tease it (back comb) it as well?
The honest truth with that is my extensions don't get slept in, etc, so they retain the curl quite a bit better than my real hair does, seeing as i throw it up in a pony tail or bun and sleep with it every night. This wears the curls out a bit more so the tops tends to be wavier than the bottom. A good trick to attain this is to curl both the top and bottom of your hair (provided you don't have extensions). Don't curl the top part as tightly as the bottom. Spray the bottom part with a hefty amount of hairspray (you'll notice i'm a big fan of hairspray!). Comb out the top part with your hands just slightly (not so that it becomes afro-ish). Then re-curl the bottom a little bit more and that should do the trick! :)

As for the second part of your question, sometimes I tease it a bit, and sometimes I don't. I only wash my hair 2 or 3 times a week, and then I use Dry Shampoo in-between. IF i DO tease it, i do it in layers/sections laterally. But typically my hair just looks like a big birds nest because i load on the hairspray and hope for the best :P If you'd like a more detailed tutorial (like the person above), feel free to let me know and I'd be happy to do so!


3.) If you were to, God forbid, die suddenly and you had time to listen to one last song..what would the song be and why?

Oh goodness, thats an interesting question! Hmm… I'd probably listen to Gotta Have You by The Weepies simply based on the fact that I have OH SO MANY memories associated with that song. It means a lot to me for several very different reasons and I can honestly say that I'd go with that one. :) What song would YOU listen to?

4.) How important are guys to you? This is something that has bothered me my whole life. Watching girls who HAVE to have a man in their life to be happy. My friends date jerks just to say they have a boyfriend, like that title is more important than the actual person. It seems like boys are consistent in your life. Do you feel a need to have them? This is a judgment free question, I just want to know that someone my age can be in a relationship and not just have a "boyfriend" for the sake of having a "boyfriend", ya know? Also explain what having a boyfriend means to you.
Brilliant Question! And one that i will answer with ABSOLUTE HONESTY. I always grew up being very very independent, thanks to my mother. It was strictly she and I so she taught me how to be a very stable, successful, independent woman. I didn't really start having "boyfriends" until I was 15. I dated a few guys but nothing was ever serious really, with the exception of Jamie when I was 16/17. Most lasted roughly 3 months (because I have always had a SERIOUS relationship complex). I never felt like I NEEDED a boyfriend at that point in my life, but they were always somewhat present. I moved off to Franklin for college and I dated randomly, though nothing serious really, until Adam. Adam came around and it was 3 years basically, but while we were broken up I was pretty devastated for a while (granted it was ultimately my own doing, but it still sucked). I started to learn what it was like to be single again and I was LOOVVVVINGGG IT. I could date randomly, but never "exclusively" really. Adam was always in and out of my life during those 11 months. I never felt anything significant for anyone but towards the end of it I started feeling more and more dependent on having a boy in my life. Maybe it was boredom, maybe it was a little bit of heartache that carried over, Who knows. But for a month or two I found myself telling my best friend Bryan "I need a boyfriend." "I need a boyfriend, help me find a boyfriend. I need a boy." How awful! Then i'd be casually "talk" to a few guys and even though several of them wanted an actual full-fledged relationship to evolve from it, I never really did. I enjoyed being a single girl, and maybe I just liked the attention. Granted I never talked to someone I wasn't genuinely interested in, but at that point in my life, I couldn't see myself with that person long-term. And I don't get involved in a real relationship unless I see something lasting. Thats just my style. No sense in getting all emotionally attached to someone just to break up down the road. Right now my education, my career and MY future is the most important thing to me. Regardless of who is with me on that journey, I know thats something I NEED TO DO FOR MYSELF, you know? Then Adam came back around and I realized that I agreed to continue that relationship, if you could call it on, simply based on the fact that I THOUGHT I needed him… when I didn't. His absence and return somehow made me forget the immense amount of independence that my mother had instilled in me. This was a wake up call. I ended things with him immediately and I was incredibly satisfied with my decision to do so. I continued to talk to boys and all that jazz, but I had neither intention, nor desire, to procure a relationship with anyone at that point. I know that I'll be moving back to NYC in may, then Nashville in August, and then back to NYC soon thereafter, so starting a relationship from scratch would not be a smart decision. However, Mike came back into the picture and everything fell into place. I had NO intention of dating him again (not for lack of interest, simply because of what i've stated prior… i didn't feel like it'd be smart). but the chemistry and the connection was undeniable. Something about it felt SO incredibly right, and I couldn't walk away from that again. We have been given a second chance at this and it's not something I take lightly. They always say if it's meant to be, it will be. And now it is just that.

For me, dating can be casual, but when I call someone my "boyfriend", its because I have every intention on seeing it out to it's finish… whatever that may be. But in my mind, a boyfriend is someone I can see myself being with for a very long time. I talk and date guys to get a feel for what they are like, what their priorities are, and where they see themselves in the future. A boyfriend is so much more. I can honestly say that I've woken up to my misty haze of my co-dependency and i'm happy with the direction things are going in now. Wow, sorry that was SO drawn out, but it really do strike a chord with me because I always thought I was too strong to ever feel like i NEEDED a boy… but i've definitely fallen victim to that. Luckily I have since woken up. :) hope that makes sense!


hokay! i limited that to only 4 questions since my answer to the last one was so long! Feel free to ask anything! It can be silly, serious, random, whatever! CLICK HERE TO DO SO!

EDIT: i now have a FORMSPRING.ME page!
you can ask me there if you prefer. It's really all the same! Click HERE to view current/recent questions that will not be posted on the blog (a select few will possibly be chosen to be shared on KAELAHBEE, but not all)!

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Questions Answered: Round Three!

ROUND THREE!
(follow up to Round One and Round Two)

1.) I know this may be too personal, but I'll stretch the limit since people do it to me all the time, but what was your childhood like? I've always been interesting in how people grew up and what they've become.
Hmm.. my childhood. it was an interesting one (who's isn't?!)… it was really just my mom and myself… my dad kind of blew us off early on so he was in and out of my life the whole time. i went 7 years without seeing him once, and ever since i was 13 its been a very turbulent relationship. i haven't seen him in a year and a half and honestly, things are better this way. it was my ultimate decision. my mom and i fought A LOT. i mean, i guess you could expect that… i was an angry angry child… soooo much pent up emotion and anger towards my father but i'd take it out on her (unaware at the time that this was the reason). but over the years things got way better. by the time i moved out on my own, we had become best best best friends. and to this day she's STILL my very best friend on the planet. i can't go a single day without talking to her and when im in nyc i call her about 5 times a day. she's the most amazing woman on the planet and i'm so thankful for her. the rest of my childhood was just spent playing with the neighborhood boys. i was the only girl on the block so i'd have to play tag, hide & go seek and football. i loved it. i was a realllll tomboy for a long time. SUPER tomboy. i would dry-heave at the thought of a dress. true facts. but as i got older i started to reallyyyyy get feminine. and now i dry heave at the thought of jeans and i only wear dresses. amazing how things change, huh? i played sports my entire life. cheerleading from 4 yrs. to 14, volleyball from 13 to 18, and softball from 4 to 18. it was good stuff :D

2.) what exactly happened with you and adam? you say you stuck by him through the good the bad and the ugly? can you say what exactly happened it a sort of detailed nutshell?
it's about 3 hours after i originally posted this and i'm changing my answer. i removed everything i typed for a reason... i'm beyond happy with the relationship i'm currently in... happier than i've ever been in my entire life in any relationship... so with that being said, i know what happened with Adam and our falling out was supposed to happen. my relationship with him was meant to end. it was meant to end so that this could begin again. had it not been for the sequence of events in both mike's life and my own, we never would have found each other again. i'm happy and content with the way things turned out so i can only hope that adam finds someone who he's willing to be 100% honest with 100% of the time. he has the potential to be a wonderful person and a great companion... it just wasn't supposed to be me. so i end any and all things that i've ever said about him in a negative light on that note. if you missed my original answer, i apologize. but i suppose thats really just history. and that shall stay there. thanks for understanding :)

3.) How were you different when you were 16-19? Were you ever rebellious? Were you scene? Did you date a lot of guys?
man oh man oh man! boy was i ever different! in high school i definitely went through the scene phase… but it was the front end of it. like, my 9th grade through 11th grade years (2002 - 2004). not like scene is today. but i definitely did it. i remember my myspace name was "x kaelah cutthroat x at one point HAHAHAH SOMEONE ACTUALLY CAME UP TO ME AT A SHOW AND REFERRED TO ME AS THAT! WTF?! im glad i got over it. i was never really "rebellious"… i never even drank until new years of my senior year. i've only ever tried pot (and that wasn't until i was in college).. nothing else. and i don't drink OR smoke OR do any drugs or anything anymore. but i deffff had my "~wild" stage the summer after moving out on my own. i was from a tiny town so you can imagine the slight culture shock of moving to franklin/nashville, etc. coming and going as i please, all that jazz. i dated a ton of guys that summer. i never tied myself down to anyone for long. i dated mike that year, too, the first time. but it was in my freshman year that i met adam, so we dated for 3 years and only recently split. i've been with mike ever since. granted during the time that adam and i were off and on over this past year, i dated a lot of dudes, but it was nothing serious and it wasn't sleeping around or anything of the sort. just casual dating. :)

4.) My hair is fine and I don't know a thing about styling my hair! What should I do with it? I usually just put it up in a ponytail and call it a day.
lordy girl my hair is super fine too! i mean it is thinnnnnnnnerrr than bible paper! gah! its frustrating, right?! theres so much you can do for it. dirty it up a little bit and curl it, scrunch it loosely with rave hairspray, etc! i could maybe give you better ideas if i had a picture of it? i don't have to show it to everyone, but if you'd like i can post it on here and people can give their suggestions! you can block out your face if you want to, or not if you don't haha :D but it could be helpful!

5.) Do you feel like boys are better friends than girls?
not necessarily. granted i grew up with nothing but guys around so i just came to know how to be "one of the boys", but truth be told, as mike just said to me (i read this question to him) i'm SOOOOO not a fan of passive aggression… and 75% of girls are nothing but passive aggressive. like… if something's bothering you, speak up. don't get snarky behind backs and sneer and chit chat amongst people who aren't even involved… just man up, grow some balls and stand up for yourself you know? i have lots of girl friends now (more than ever before, actually), but i also have lots of dude friends. i just like being able to relax and kick it with the boys sometimes. luckily the girls i'm friends with here in franklin have the mental attitudes of guys so they don't let petty drama seep in anywhere, its so nice :D

6.) What are your biggest pet peeves?
WHEN I CAN HEAR PEOPLE EAT! OH. MY. LORD! YOU HAVE NO IDEA! mike was eating something earlier and i could hear him chew and i just shot him the death glare… I CANNOT STAND IT! i feel like it makes me a bad person because i'm so intolerable of this.. but whatever. and when people scrape their forks and spoons in their bowl/plate… HELLO! FOOD WILL NOT MAGICALLY REAPPEAR BECAUSE YOU ARE SCRAPING TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EARTH! YOU ATE IT ALL, PLEASE STOP NOW! typically thats really it. i just hate hearing people eat food. :) [/end rant!]

7.) what's your favorite thing about yourself?
physically, mentally, etc? physically i like my lips. i love the shape and the slight pout. idk i just like them. and mentally…. my new optimistic attitude that i've managed to find over the past year or so. seriously… i'm able to hand stress and stuff SO MUCH BETTER. its so nice! :D thanks for asking this though.. sometimes i only concentrate on the negative stuff (i have my days where i doubt myself substantially) but this question helped me realize that i need to use that new optimism and focus on the good :D

8.) You wear your style with such confidence, are you confident with the way you look? I mean i know everyone has some flaws, but explain how you feel overall.
like i said in the question above, i def have days where i just doubt myself completely. i get super self conscious and i'm worried about how i look to other people and how i feel about myself… whether its body issues or intellectually… sometimes i just do not feel up to par. sometimes i wear things that even I am like WTF AM I WEARING?! AM I REALLY GOING TO ATTEMPT THIS?! but i just do it… the key is to fake it until you make it. even if you're questioning what you're attempting to do… don't ever let anyone else know that. don't let anyone else see the insecure side of you because then they'll focus on it. if you make them think that you're nothing but confident, they'll never second guess you. i promise this is true. how do you think i made it through high school and managed to snag Best Dressed senior year? i promise… some of the crap I wore makes me cringe to this day! :D

Feel free to ask me anything HERE... i'll be happy to answer them <3

xo

Saturday, 19 December 2009

Questions Answered: Round Two!

Here we go! A follow-up to Round One!

1.) How come Adam is such a prick about giving you your money back?
Gosh, I wish I knew. He claims he "doesn't have it"... but the truth is simple, he does. He manages to fly to Las Vegas and he bought his plane ticket for Nashville, and apparently he's going to Indiana? I dont know... It's better that I don't comment on things like that. He's shown time and time again he's just plain irresponsible with his money. He thinks he can get away with not paying me if he drags it out long enough. He's done this before. When we first broke up he owed me a couple hundred and it took him OVER SIX MONTHS to give me barely half of it. yeah. I'm not letting it go that long this time. If every red cent, and my belongings, aren't forked over the day his plane touches down in Nashville, the good ol' justice system will be involved. I've already warned him that I do not say this in vain. I've taken it upon myself to speak to a couple attorneys thus far to basically test the waters and all systems are a GO.

2.) What make-up do you use?
Here's the general breakdown:
- Primer: FreshMinerals Smoothing Prep Primer (I SWEAR by this stuff!)
- Foundation: MAC Moistureblend in NW25.
- Powder: Maybelline Mineral Power in Light 3.
- Blush: NARS Orgasm or CG TruBlend MicroMinerals in Natural Rose.
- Face: Sephora 3-piece Face Sculpting Kit
- Eyeliner: MAC pencil in black.
- Eyebrows: CG Eyebrow Pencil in Henna Brown.
- Mascara: Maybelline XXL Extensions
- Lips: MAC Plushglass in Ample Pink & MAC Cremesheen Lipstick in Creme Cup.

3.) Could you do a picture post with all of your tattoos and why you decided to get them? Even if there's no cool particular reason, I'd like to see 'em up close!
I'm planning on doing this for this coming week's Tattoo Tuesday because I've had SO many people ask so check back! I have a session scheduled for Monday so hopefully I'll have more work on my sleeve to show!

4.) What's your opinion on sex before marriage, and I guess along with that, are you religious/spiritual at all?
I don't think you should go around just sleeping with any and everyone, but I don't necessarily think you should HAVE to wait until marriage. It's all about where you are as a person, couple, etc. I've seen both extremes. I've seen individuals parade around and sleep with any/everyone. I've also seen people who wear their virginity like some kind of gold robe. Granted, the people I've experienced who have chosen to wait were often times very self-righteous. I've known people who let sex be the driving force to get married. And if that's the case, what's the point?! If it came down to it, divorce is more devastating than pre-marital sex. And I consider myself a Christian, although I'm far from the ideal/best/whatever. I consider myself way more spiritual than religious, however. But honestly, I just have an open mind to any/everything. I'm a student of the universe, and that's the best way to put it.

5.) Do you ever regret getting back together with Adam the second time around?
No, even after all the bullcrap and drama and heartache, I don't regret. It's unfortunate that he turned out to be the person that he is, but that's life. People grow up (or fail to) and change. I'm ever-changing and it's so very safe to say that I'm far from the same person I was when I started dating him at age 18. I give people the benefit of the doubt. That's just in my nature. I try to see the good in every person (and often-times fail to see the bad, ever). I will never regret that part of my personality. I've just grown to learn that not every person is what they say and I have to use proper judgment. The three years I spent with Adam taught me how to handle relationships, friendships, dishonesty, living with another person, sharing my life, and letting go. Those are experiences that I would never want to be without. But in the same respect, I also now know that I will not tolerate ever being treated or manipulated like I was with him, ever again. It's always a learning experience. I feel a little bit upset in the way that I let many amazing opportunities and many amazing men walk right out of my life because I wasn't willing to give up on Adam. But that's all in the past and I'm so so grateful for where I am currently in my relationship with Mike, my family, and my friends. It wouldn't have been possible if Adam hadn't been in my life. It's a true testament to my loyalty, though. If I think something is worth it, I'll fight for it until I have absolutely no fight left in me. :)

6.) How do your friends feel about Adam versus Mike?
Well, it's pretttttty safe to say that my friends were NOT fans of Adam towards the latter half of our relationship. They had seen the good, the bad, and the down-right ugly. Granted all of them seemed to like him in the beginning. But its just like anything else, the veneer begins to wear thin and true personalities start to emerge. Every single friend, with the exception of one (who i still love dearly), was against me ever getting back with Adam. Many begged for me to break it off long long ago. But I stood by his side every time he came calling and needed direction and purpose in life. I used to think they just didn't want me to be happy. And I truly truly wanted things to work out with he and I. I thought I had met my soul mate. Maybe I had. Maybe I had met my soul mate, but just as Eat, Pray, Love states, a soul mate is not one who sticks around forever for its too painful. It was just that. As I started my "new life" without him, people could see the difference. I wasn't always on edge, I was happier, I was way more optimistic, etc. Then Mike came back in my life and ever since I've been all smiles. I'm trying to implement the things that Adam taught me through our relationship into my relationship with Mike. My best friend Bryan has a note in his wallet, and I have a matching one in mine, that says "Relationships are a compromise".. Amazing. I see it every day and I work towards that in every relationship... be it with a boyfriend, a best friend, a neighbor, or my family. Elle made mention the other night that Mike was by far her "favorite of my boyfriends" so this is good news. He has a positive aura about him and I love showing him off. It's been a pleasant transition. :)

Hokay! Sorry that was long! In total thats 10 questions answered thus far! woo! Feel free to ask an anonymous question HERE and I'll post it/answer it soon!

xo

Friday, 18 December 2009

Questions Answered: Round One

Out of the submissions there have been so far, I wanted to break down the questions into WAY smaller groups and handle them that way as opposed to having 20+ q&a in one post.

Here we go!

1.) If i email you will i be totally embarassed? :P
No way! There's absolutely no reason why you should be shy or embarassed to email me! About anything! Receiving emails from my readers is hands down my favorite part of my blog. Honest! And if you're still self-conscious about it, make a new/anonymous gmail account and email me from it! :) I promise I won't be creeped out or anything like that! I love emailing new people back and forth! I hope you decide to! (kaelahbee at gmail dot com)

2.) It's pretty apparent that you really love fashion, do you ever draw your own sketches or designs that you might one day want to make into a collection?
I spent my entire first year of college as a Fashion Design + Merch major, and after many many stressful nights in the sewing lab, I realized it wasn't my true passion. I do love doodling outfits and things like that (who doesn't?!) and we ALLLL know i LOVE clothes! haha But I'm perfecting my sewing skills (at least attempting to) with the intention of opening my own independent retail store at some point in my life. I'd love to have a small store with independent labels and maybe some of my own stuff eventually. I definitely definitely see it in my future. :)

3.) What are some things you do on days where you don't have much self esteem/don't feel very beautiful? In other words, how do you channel your inner confidence?
This is a really good question because believe me, I definitely have those days. As silly as it sounds, something as simple as curling my hair for no occasion whatsoever usually helps a little. Granted, its a vanity thing, but it feels SO nice to just dress up for myself. I've said it in another post before, but i like to dress up for ME. because I AM THE OCCASION. (click HERE to read the post... it's hands down one of my top 3 posts I've ever made on this blog). And upon knowing that I don't need anyone else to give me a reason, I also realize that absolutely no one else is responsible for my feelings. So I pick my chin up, put on my favorite dress, spend extra time on my makeup and hair... even if all I have planned is cleaning my room. It gives me an extra pep in my step. I lost that a little bit this semester towards the end because it was so stressful, but when I managed to "woMAN-UP" then i felt a lot better. maybe thats just me :D sorry that answer was SO. DRAWN. OUT. haha <3

4.) what's you fav drink at house parties? and fav shots at the bars?
Conveniently enough, my favorite drink and my favorite shot are both the same. Just add ice! haha I drink New Old Ladies (Which is: 3/4 oz Crown Royal whiskey, 3/4 oz Peach Schnapps, and a splash of Sweet & Sour mix). Typically I use 90 proof Peach Schnapps at home, and double the whiskey, so one drink is the equivalent of 3 to 5 drinks. But I also like straight Sailor Jerry, or Tequila. :D

Some other things that really caught my attention in the formsprings were people's favorite/least favorite and things they'd like to see here in my blog. One person said their least favorite part was if/when I talked about Adam, but that they understand that this is a place to vent so it was okay. And they're so very right. Thats where I stake my claim to my blog and my free speech, but I don't mean to offend anyone really, or even speak badly of anyone. I try to reign in what I say and how I say it as to not cause a bigger commotion. Adam is my past. He is what "was"... and I'm happy to say I'm over that. But until he manages to tie up the loose ends, he's still present in my life. However I can promise you that as soon as he forks over my money and my belongings, its soooooo long, buddy! :) I've been meaning to let my post out from the queue about the whole ex/current bf situation so maybe I will tonight. I need to ~edit.

Another person said they wished I updated more like I used to, and they'd like to see more personal entries. I'm happy to say that that is my plan! So sorry I've been so wishy-washy with it as of late, but I'm back! I promise! and Mike has given me the a-okay to include him in on the posts, seeing as he's such a big part of my life now it's only appropriate.

And last but not least, I want to say a huge THANK YOU to all the kind words y'all have said. I'm so very glad you can relate, or if you find something inspiring, or anything to that degree. You make me feel better about my ridiculously long, drawn out posts, and you make me want to update more! So thanks again! You are all fantastic!

I'll do Round 2 soon! If you'd like to ask me anything, share your favorite/least favorite parts of the blog, or just say something (constructive criticism is welcome!), feel free to CLICK HERE and fill out the formspring! Remember, its completely anonymous! or you can leave a comment, or email me! (kaelahbee at gmail dot com)

xoxo

Monday, 2 November 2009

questions answered! round 2!

this is going to be a long post. i apologize. but i just copied & pasted from my text/edit doc. a few questions still didnt get answered. sorrrrry! ill try to get them all soon though. gah i've been writing for what feels like days! enjoy! sorry they're so long winded!

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I feel that there is always something someone needs to be happy. Some key to happiness. What is your one thing, or more than on, you need to be happy?
family. plain & simple. the knowledge that my mother believes in me and supports me and loves me unconditionally is hands down my #1. always always always. i don't live my life to please her, however i do strive to make her proud of me. i strive to do things in her honor because she was not given the opportunities that i have been afforded. its almost as if she can live vicariously through me. our personalities are much different and even if she had been given the same opportunities, chances are likely she would have chosen a different path… and thats fine. but i'm able to show her a different trail. she may not agree with all of my decisions (e.g. my decision to tattoo a giant percentage of my body), but she always proves to me she loves me and supports me regardless. and she will defend me if anyone tries to say anything different.

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Who are your top 5 bands?
these change on the daily. that i can promise you. however, they're currently:
the reindeer section, the middle east, yeasayer, meiko, and the wooden sky. though i think a more accurate depiction can be made by viewing my last.fm profile for what i've been listening to :)

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what is the one thing that has affected your life the most?
different things for different days. certain things have repercussions that only show their grizzly head once in a blue moon. though i can say pretty confidently that the most resounding event has been cutting ties with my father. years of heartache and frustration seeping into my relationship with my mother (she raised me as a single parent for 18 years), my relationship with every boy i've ever dated (and most prominently my relationship with adam), and even my relationship with myself. however it is not something i think i'm missing out on. my step father is such an amazing man and i'd be proud to call him Dad any day. and i'm so very lucky to have adam in my life because he has taught me so much. both and he and my mother have taught me that regardless of how someone treated you in the past, you cannot let it control how you treat other people. it took a lot of mistakes, a lot of angry phone calls and a lot of miscommunication with the ones that i love to realize that you are what you love, not what loves you back.

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How do you deal with a long distance relationship? Also, have there ever been times where you've been bored or felt "blah" in a relationship? How do you get past that?
i guess its best to break these into part A and part B.

part a: how do i deal with a long distance relationship? i'm trying to answer that question myself. i have no idea. it gets harder with every passing minute. at least thats the way it currently feels. to think i was kissing adam goodbye at the airport only ten days ago blows my mind. it feels like an eternity since i've seen him. i'm hoping that if all goes as planned i'll be able to fly back out in roughly 4 weeks when finals are over. i've learned very quickly it takes a lot of money, a lot of patience, and a lot of trust and understanding to even begin trying to make it work. its so intimidating but i'm determined to make it work. it's been made a slight bit easier because we both have macs (i took him my white macbook on my last trip and left it with him) so we can videochat. it may seem silly but even when we sit there with ichat open and poke around the internet simultaneously (only every once in a while saying "whatcha doing?"), it makes it feel like we're together. its just as it would be. sitting there, exploring the interwebz together but separately. by all means, if anyone has any suggestions on ways to make a long distance relationship work, please send them my way. i'm a n00b.

part b) have i ever felt "blah" in a relationship? oh my yes. have i ever. even in my relationship with adam. i think at the end of the road last year before we broke up we were both just kicking a dead horse. both of us felt tired and worn out, not inspired at all. but unfortunately it's not an easy question to answer as to HOW to fix it. obviously we made some questionable decisions while trying to deal with it but sometimes some time apart can really benefit the relationship. other times its just a passing phase. however, i do think it is something that should be acknowledged between the two of you. its supposed to be a partnership. you shouldn't ever feel like you're battling something on your own.

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What's the worst movie you ever seen? It could be recent or it could be from the 1920's or whatever. What's the best movie you've ever seen, too?
okay, so cast your stones if you feel so inclined but i sat there TWICE and tried to watch twilight and i'm just going to throw it all out there… i feel asleep. both times. thats right, fell asleep. not even 1/4 of the way through it. don't get me wrong, i WANTED to like it.. i really did. i was afraid i was going to get sucked into all the hype and fangirldom but i assure you i did no such thing. everyone tells me to read the books, i don't have time. i don't want to read the books. i like what i like and i don't think i could get into twilight books. however, i really want to get into the movie so i can have things in common with 95% of my girl friends. sad, i know.

but the best movie? hmmm… not the best movie EVER, necessarily, but for the moment. i don't care how many times i see it, i can sit here and watch the proposal with ryan reynolds and sandra bullock over and over and over again. and never ever get sick of it. true story. i just love both of them as actors. can't help it. and the humor is just good. its sweet, its funny. a+ from me! and i typically like any movie that paul rudd is in so any of his movies get my vote as well :D *drool* ha!

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i feel extremely uncomfortable around my friends due to the fact that they are way skinnier than me. I've been on the heavy side since junior high and i can't seem to loose the weight. I took focalin for two weeks and lost fifteen pounds but it was an unhealthy habit. What do you honestly think i should do to lose the weight ?
well first off i'll just say this, your body is amazing. it does wonderful things for you. it makes you able to run and jump and swim and enjoy daily life. you should take care of it. almost all of us are guilty of taking it for granted, filling it with unhealthy, greasy, and way-too-sugary foods, but you should appreciate it for what it is, too. instead of praying for a miracle or ingesting diet pills, you should find something active that you really love to do. (for me, its the stairmaster thingy at the gym. haha thats not even remotely the right terminology but whatever!). i typically do 15 flights of stairs in 5 minutes, run off to another machine and then return for another 15 flights. repeat as necessary. and exercise releases endorphins which make you happy and when you're happy you can learn to really love your body and then you'll start pushing yourself at the gym and voila! a whole new you! but you have to do it the healthy way. i've done it the unhealthy way before, too. but it's all going to come back. i type this and think to myself i could have used my free evening tonight to go to the gym but i didn't. i wish i would have. i always feel like i can conquer the world after i work out. get some good tunes and just go for a walk even! invite some friends over and rent some awesomely cheesy workout dvds from the 90s or something and just make a night of it! just make it fun! :D

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why did you decide to go to the college you are at now?
the embarrassing truth is that i did NOT want to go to O'more when i graduated high school. A rep from O'more came to my high school one day for a college fair and my guidance counselor who i was fairly close with insisted that i give it a shot. She had a former student go to O'More for interior design and yadda yadda yadda. she took it upon herself to basically apply for me. I had my heart set on FIT (Fashion Institute of Technology in NYC). I applied to FIT for the Fashion Merchandising program as part of Early Decision, meaning I'd hear whether I was accepted or not come February. Months rolled by and the day came… my acceptance package to FIT for the Fall of 2006! I remember calling all of my friends and crying with delight that I had gotten into my #1 pick… however reality soon set in… My mother was a single parent and even though my dad has enough padding in his pockets to build a coliseum, there was no way he'd ever pay for me to go to college. I soon received an acceptance letter to every other college I applied to, even O'More. And with the O'more acceptance letter came a full ride scholarship based on merit and academics. I graduated with a 3.8 GPA (out of a possible 4.0) but unfortunately did not get enough in scholarships to get me to FIT. Housing alone was more expensive than actual tuition. And my parents were not thrilled with the idea of me moving to NYC on my own at 18. So it was, I would go to O'more and take the full ride and major in Fashion Design and Merchandising. blah blah blah, so i did, i loved it, fell in love with the school but hated fashion design so after my freshman year i switched to visual communications (graphic design) and i've been in that program ever since. (3 years strong! i'm in my 4th year at o'more and i have 2 semesters left!) i'm so happy i came here and it was a true blessing in disguise. being on a tiny campus and there being only 200 of us in the entire college is awesome. that was long winded, but that is how i ended up at o'more.

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what kind of sports (if any) did you play while in high school?
my mother played softball from the time she could walk basically up until she was 4 months pregnant with me. so it was safe to say softball would be in my future. (c'mon now… have you seen the size of my calves?!? yeah.. its pretty darn apparent that i lead a life of sports… even if i hate the after effects hahaha) i played softball from the time i was 4 years old (hey tee-ball!) up until i was 18. i played both summer dixie league as well as for my high school (shortstop was my position). i also did cheerleading for both basketball and football from the age of 4 up until the age of 14. i don't really look like the cheerleading type, i know. but back in the day i did. i gave up cheerleading at age 14 to start playing volleyball the year they founded the team at my junior high school. i was in 8th grade and i made varsity. in fact, not to brag, the first volleyball game i ever played, i served the winning 8 points with aces. pretty effin' stoked. i played volleyball from 8th grade all the way through high school. it is hands down my favorite sport to play and i'd love to get involved with an intramural team. (i'm only 5'2 so back row was my placeeeee. i served and also played as a Defensive Specialist)

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What are your views towards Online Relationships?
i've never been in one myself, but i can safely say that i've met all three of my best friends via the internet. i've also met so so so many close and amazing friends via the internet. i was friends with casey on myspace for a year and a half or two years before we actually ever hung out and met. he lived in kansas and i was in tennessee. we were friends for 5 years strong. i met jessica through livejournal and we were penpals for years before i actually met her in san francisco in 2007. she drove up 9 hours to meet me when i flew out there with adam. and i met shannon through a local music forum and we met a few weeks later at a show. i've been best friends with all 3 for 5-6 years. it can do amazing things for you. just don't be naive about it :)

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Are you ever sad or lonely?
even though i'm surrounded by some of the most amazing people 90% of the time, i still find it very easy to feel both sad and lonely. but i try to turn it into something positive so its somewhat productive. when i feel either of those things i try to get creative. i make playlists and mixtapes or i paint or draw or doodle. sometimes i sew or clean. if i'm going to feel these things then i want to channel them into something bigger. it usually works wonders :D

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How do you make friends?
contrary to popular belief, i am one of the shyest human beings on the planet. its so hard for me to make friends because i can tend to be very introverted at first. i'm always toting my cellphones in my hand so that when the awkward moment arises, i can text someone or at the very least, PRETEND i'm texting. c'mon… you've done it too, AMIRITE?! OR AM I RIGHT?! haha however i'm finding it a little easier to break out of my shell. if someone is listening to an awesome song or band or if they're wearing something totally fabulous, i try to make it known to them. now, that doesn't mean i feed false compliments. i'm not one to flatter people for the sake of flattery or for the hope that it will be reciprocated. i'm 110% genuine in what i'm saying if i say it. but this is another one of those things where i could DEFINITELY take some pointers haha

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What do you think about when sitting in class?
any and everything. honest. i'm lucky because in my major (graphic design) we have our computers in every class. so usually i'm poking around the interwebz when i should be concentrating, etc. my mind is always a big jumbled mess so i keep my pocket sized moleskin with me at all times and i just jot everything that comes to mind in it so i can keep up with it. i call it my little book of ideas. i just filled my last page up tonight. meaning i need to go buy a new one tomorrow :D i should write that on the back cover so i don't forget! hahaha

you are aware you're gorgeous, Right?
that is incredibly flattering, thank you <3

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why dont you ever wear skinny jeans? i always see you in boot cut.
then you don't look hard enough :) the truth of the matter is i hardly wear jeans ever. ever ever ever. i'm not a huge fan of them and i'd rather be in dresses. but here, to tickle your fancy, is a picture of me in skinny jeans. hello thighs! :D

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Where do you get all of your inspiration?
tumblr is a huge source of inspiration. just jumping from one username tag to the next. it is a huge spiderweb of inspiration just waiting to be uncovered.

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i dont even know what i want to ask you. i would love to know what goes on inside that pretty little head of yours because your quotes, photos, experiences are relatable but at the same time inspiring.. and i wish i had a mind as free as yours to open up to the sky
it's all a matter of putting your mind to it. i refuse to be restricted by the fences people build around themselves. its worth breaking free from. some people will undoubtedly spend their whole lives trying to fence you into your own little world or at the very least, keeping you out of theirs. don't be afraid to offend people with how you think or what you feel. your opinions and beliefs have merit simply based on the fact that they are pure and honest and 100% yours. and you should never forget you are capable of absolutely anything you set your mind to. cliche as it may be, its cliche because its true. :) <3

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What do you think about kissing on the first date, and just sexual relationships. Would that be something for you?
well i don't really know what to think about this question. would sexual relationships be something for me in general? is that what you're asking? as far as kissing on the first date, there is no right or wrong answer for that. every single situation is different and its all about how you feel in the situation. and as far as sexual relationships go, i'm happily committed and if i needed any of that, i'm sure i could get it. :)

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When you have a boyfriend, do you ever get jealous if you're around his ex girlfriends or girls he's slept with? I know its an ex for a reason. Its just an awkward feeling and I hate feeling insecure and jealous. I'm trying to work on it. I know I'm not an ugly girl and I have nothing to worry about. Just "what if" stuff.
honeychild let me tell you one thing… you're human. you're subject to bouts of jealousy and insecurity just like the next person. i'm sure he would/does get jealous when around your exes… but i can 100% agree with you. i definitely find myself in those situations. i know adam loves me more than he has ever ever ever dreamt of ever loving another girl, but even so, i find myself feeling catty or insecure in the presence of (or even conversation of!) another girl. but that is just human nature. you're not alone and its nothing to be ashamed of. its something we all must experience. :)

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What exactly did you do after high school to prepare you for now? How did you get your internship at bust?
man oh man! if theres one thing i feel right now its ILL PREPARED! i promise you that. i think about the fact i have 2 semesters of college left until i'm thrust out into the "real world" and it takes everything i've got not to just break down and scream. i'm always learning, always trying to better myself in some way, etc. but as far as my internship at bust goes, how did i get it? lots of emails. lots of nice, sweet, persistent emails. with bust, i knew exactly what i wanted. i wanted to work for a smart, funny, sarcastic women's lifestyle magazine that not only empowered me, but empowered millions of women around the world. i was determined. and luckily my determination and persistence paid off.

my advice to any and everyone looking for an internship: set your sights high. know exactly what you want and don't settle for less. go for it. grab it by its horns and give it 110%. thats exactly what i did (even when i spend 1/4 of my internship couped up in my far-too-tiny apartment with tonsillitis and pericoronitis)… so they asked me to return this next summer. i'm going to give it 200% this time. be eager, be enthusiastic, be willing to do any and everything, be willing to learn… but most of all, BE HUMBLE. (i def felt the humility one day on the job but it turned into a silly little joke and it passed… but be willing to admit when you're wrong. thats a story for another day hahaha)

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Are You Secretly Racist?
not that i'm aware of. although i can safely say that we all have prejudices… even when we don't want to and even when we don't acknowledge them. its so sad and i hate that thats the way it is… but thats just it… thats the way it is. however i neither condone, nor tolerate, the use of racial slurs in my presence. my father is heavily racist and it would break my heart every time i heard him say such a word.

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what kind of car do you drive?
i drive an incredibly dirty, and a WAYYYYY-TOO-SMALL silver 2006 Pontiac Solstice convertible. it was my high school graduation present from my parents. i was hellbent and in love with that car. it took us 8 months to find one (it was a first year model and leave it to donald trump to make america go crazy for them) but i can say this… i was naive and ignorant. this car is tiny. beautiful but impractical. its a 2 seater, 18" wheels, subwoofer in the trunk so nothing else fits, etc. but i get a lot of compliments on it. i'd rather be driving a white Land Rover LR3 but we can all dream, right? Chamillionaire's "Ridin' Dirty" was the first song that played in it when i got in to drive it away. It has been my car's theme song ever since. heres what my girl Delilah looks like:

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what is something you criticize about yourself too often or lately?
different things for different days. it could be physical or it could be mental. sometimes i get down on myself for not giving 100% in my school work, other days i hate the fact that my butt is too big or my thighs too round or my hair is too nappy. daily battles and daily struggles, but then i remember i should not take myself for granted and it puts a lot in perspective.

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How long did you and Adam break up for? How upset were you? I'm in love with my boyfriend and I know that if we were to break up, I would feel completely hopeless and heart broken.
adam and i were technically "broken up" for 11 months. however even in that 11 months (which felt like an eternity, and my mother made the mistake of thinking we were apart for 2 years today!), the longest we ever went without seeing or speaking to each other was 6 weeks. different points in the breakup called for different stages. there was the "i refuse to see or speak to him or acknowledge his presence" stage, there was the "adam and kaelah hanging out and being bff and talking about new boy/girlfriends" stage, there was the "adam comes over to cuddle and stay the night and be sweet but hes still not my boyfriend boyfriend" stage… we went through them all. it was a cycle. words cannot express how upset i was. i was hurt, i was sad, i was furious, i was vengeful, i was mean, i was all of these things and more. but most of all i was incredibly incredibly heartbroken and i felt like my life was caving in on me. there were several days where it was almost impossible to tear myself from my bed to even get a cup of coffee in the kitchen. i experienced every stage a few times. the regret, the denial, the anger, the heartache, the need for revenge, etc etc etc. and a silly little fact: i had grown so accustomed to sleeping in the same bed with him for 2 years that for the 2 months following our breakup, i had to sleep with the bathroom light on & the door cracked just-so, and position a body pillow beside me just so i could sleep at night. its tough to get through something like that, but the important part remains: you WILL get through it.

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what were you like in high school?
i wasn't homecoming queen but i wasn't a social outcast. i was voted as Most Likely to be Famous and Best Dressed my senior year (remind me the scan the pages one day.. they're ridiculous). i was an active member of both the volleyball and softball teams, i was a student ambassador, president and founder of the french club, i was a 4H honor club and all star member (holla!), i was basically editor of the school yearbook, i was in every club ever (except for FFA), and an active member and coordinator of all pep rallies. i was very very VERY involved with high school.. almost too much. but i loved every minute of it (except minutes spent in math. asd;fjsdlkf jal;sdfjk. yuck!). i took AP history classes as well as AP Biology. i graduated with a 3.8 GPA and with a Beta Club sash. I sang at graduation with 9 of my closest friends as part of Senior Chorus (we called ourselves ~The Chorus Superstars).. the truth is i can't carry a tune in a bucket but we sang songs from Rent. i shot way too much photography for the yearbook and i stayed after school and skipped way too many classes so i could sit in the library and edit my little heart out on the layouts of the senior pages. (i credit my love for graphic design to the fact i was enrolled in yearbook my freshman year… you had to be a junior to be in yearbook… even though i now realize i put a gross 2pt stroke on EVERYTHING and that was BAD! ha!) i always dated boys older than me and i made sure my locker was nice & neat & filled with photos of all of my favorite things. i really did love high school.. it wasn't a traumatic experience for me, and i'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. silly, i know.

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whats in your purse?
things i always have with me: way too many pens & pencils, 2 moleskin notebooks (my little book of ideas), my phones, my keys, gum… lots of it, tattoo cream (a&d ointment usually, & lotion), skittles, wallet, receipts crumpled up, loose change, a pair of earbuds, ponytail holders, makeup bag, perfume, zyrtec (my magic pill!), aleve, and q-tips. :) just to name what i can remember off the top of my head. someone asked for a picture of everything in my purse so stay tuned!

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what color is your hair dye? do you dye it yourself?
i do indeed dye it myself and in fact, i just bought new dye tonight so i can give you the exact specs on it. i use "L'Oreal Technique Excellence Hi-Color for DARK HAIR ONLY" in the hue "H8 RED FIRE". bought at Sally beauty supply. I use L'Oreal's 30 volume Oreor Creme developer (2.5 oz). :) and i only use shampoo & conditioner for red hair (John Frieda's Radiant Red is fairly inexpensive and can be bought at a drugstore)

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WOW! thanks for reading if you did :) and a big thanks if you submitted any questions. i hope i got around to answering it for you! thats enough of that for now! haha

xo

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

the picture game!

so i've tried doing this every so often on my livejournal but typically the response is overwhelming and i cannot manage all of them, but i'm goign to try once more!

the picture game!

tell me what you want to see a picture of. anything in my life. where i sleep, my car, my closet, etc. anything anything. i will take pictures of said items and i will post them here in my blog for you to see.

please repost this to YOUR blog so we can continue the game!

*please note that some things are harder to get pictures of than others. but i will try my absolute best :D they should be posted within the next week-ish?! :D

ALSO!
i'm going to answer the remaining questions from the formsprings in the past. if you've come up with something you'd like to ask or tell me, feel free to post it in one of the two formsprings below!

FORMSPRING #1
FORMSPRING #2

xo

ps; if you're shy about leaving a comment below, you can answer the "what would you like to see pictures of" question in the formspring! its anonymous! or you can choose the anonymous option below. but i promise i'm not going to bite! you don't have to be secretive :P

Sunday, 25 October 2009

question answered!

i just got this in my email from the formspring and since there was no way to reply personally, i figured i'd give it it's own little post on my blog... mainly because it's a really good question and maybe more of you can relate.

This was submitted via the formspring:
"I'll start this off by saying, I've been hesitant on asking you this or not. Not because I don't trust you opinion, but because I feel like it's a bit too personal to question via an internet blog, but after reading your post about you and your boyfriend Adam, I figured I'd give this a shot. Coincidentally, my ex's name is Adam as well. But, all in all we dated for 4 years, and just recently actually about 2 months ago "recently" we had to break up due to family/personal problems. Plus, a but load of other issues. Nontheless, the question i was inquiring, was how did you get over your Adam when you needed to? I've heard the whole " find something to occupy yourself with " deal. and Time Time Time, just give it time. I'm sorry this is so long, but I'm in desperate need to know how to get over him. I've been puttin one foot in front o!
f the other these past few months, but I always seem to have set backs around the corners. Sorry if this took too much of your time. I just figured you could relate. Thanks in advance, :)"
alllrighty then! well! this will probably be long-winded so i dont blame some of you for not reading it. hopefully i can touch base with the person who asked the question and maybe the rest of you can leave advice/suggestions in the comments for her! i think this is a great way to open up discussion with more than just myself :)

first things first... i'm sorry that you're going through this. it's never fun and it's never easy, and it sucks when you've spent that significant amount of time with someone. i'll never claim to give good advice, but i will say i can give you my experiences and what i would (emphasis on WOULD seeing as i typically do the opposite of what i SHOULD hehe) do in the situation. my adam and i dated for 2 full years before we went separate ways. they were 2 of the most influential years of both of our lives basically. we lived together for over a year so that definitely sped up the relationship. after 24 months it seemed as though we had been together 5 years. we didnt split because of family problems so i can't relate there, but there were a ton of personal problems that just eventually drove us apart. for exactly one month after we "broke up" we stayed together. after that 1 month i walked away completely. we'd go days/weeks without speaking/seeing each other (the longest was 6 weeks. no communication whatsoever.) through all the trials and tribulations of trying to get over my "first love" i came to this conclusion: if i really wanted to get over him, i'd have to cut him out of my life completely. thats not to say i actually ever wanted to do that... the problem for me was right there... i never wanted to actually get over him. sure, he pissed me off and hurt me to certain extents where i swore i hated his guts, but i never really TRULY did, ya know? i dated several guys over the course of the 11 months we were technically broken up, but i still compared every single one of them to him. i could go on and on and on about this but its really as simple as just try and get him out of your daily routine/mind for a while. its hard and you'll catch yourself watching the phone, possibly lurking via the web (PLEASE DONT DO THIS! THIS IS BAD!), etc etc... but if you just delete him from everything, make everything private and try to avoid crossing paths, it'll get easier and easier each day. every single day for the 6 weeks, i thought of adam. a lot. i cried, a lot. but i needed to. you need to let yourself feel those feelings ya know? don't ignore them. don't just brush them off. acknowledge them and move past them. when you sweep it under the rug you'll just end up with a pile of shit when it comes down to doing the cleaning. then who knows, maybe after just a littttle bit of time you'll be able to be cordial, friendly, and maybe see where things go from there.

it sucks to say it but the truth is this: you've got to get rid of him. theres a lot of life left in you, babygirl. there's a whole world to see. as cheesy as it is to say, i found reading a lot of quotes and listening to a lot of ridiculous (and sometimes sappy) music to help me. thats just how i operate though. reading and listening to somethign that someone else might think is sad can actually help put me in a better mood (simply because its nice not to feel alone. and when i read/listen to those things, i realize that other people out there are fighting the daily battles with me.) so ill post a few quotes and stuff like that that i've come across just to put them out there :) im sure several of them will be repeats but some things are good to hear more than once <3

xo

if you want to talk about it some more or anything, feel free to email me (kaelahbee@gmail.com). you can make a fake email if you'd prefer to stay anonymous. but i'm all ears [or... eyes, i guess i should say :P] hang in there lady <3 you're not alone.

You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.
— James Baldwin

Friday, 23 October 2009

questions and answers!



here they are! several of the questions that were submitted in the formsprings answered! i didnt answer all of them... i'll save a few for the next time around, etc.. but if you want to ask anything just visit the formsprings below and ask away. its anonymous. :) sorry the formatting on these are sloppy. i just copied & pasted from textEdit :)

How did becoming "popular" (I hate using that word, but I can't think of another word for this) on MySpace and being in Seventeen magazine affect you? What I really mean is, how did it all start?
man oh man what a good question. honestly, i don't know. it's really strange. i've had myspace for going on 6 years i think (december 03, holla!) so i've been around. back in the day in my tee-tiny town we had nothing better to do than sit on this awesome new website. i took it way too serious for far too long but i'd go to nashville and people would recognize me and be all "omg you're kaelah from myspace".. it got to where i just said "nope, i've heard of myspace but i don't have one" ha. i'm not sure how the whole seventeen thing came about. all i remember is that i had an email in my inbox at 3:30am one morning and i was getting ready to jet off to california saying i was a finalist. i was like "HUH?" and it went from there. its cool to get adds and emails from girls saying they've cut out my picture and it's hanging in their room or something, or that i'm some sort of inspiration. thats really all i've ever wanted.. not some crazy silly for-nothing internet fame. i don't consider myself e-popular or e-famous. i just do what i do and hope that people can enjoy it. if not, its just not your cup o' tea :D i'm inspired by normal every day girls just as much as the next person so its really flattering. but i wont lie, the "popularity" has its perks. lots of opportunities and doors open up that otherwise i'm not sure i'd have a chance at. so it balances itself out :)

what ever happened with that girl you were friends with/lived with who was getting married?
they got married at the end of july as planned, but i backed out of the wedding. i think everyone agreed it was for the best. the last i spoke to her was probably the end of august as we were finishing up details on our apartment but as far as i know, they're happily married and living in memphis. i sent them nothing but well wishes and i hope that married life is treating them well :)

i know you've always gotten good grades and seem to always be really on top of your work. how do you stay motivated in school?? i just started college at 23, i haaaaated highschool and refused to ever go to college but i realized i needed it...at fist i was doing really well but i'm feeling myself starting to slip.
this is definitely a topic for discussion currently. i've been faltering in my focus and motivation as of late. high school came easy to me. nothing was challenging really so i just kind of breezed through. college (at art school) is way different from a traditional college so i don't have to take classes i find incredibly boring, etc. i guess that helps. except for right now i'm in an advertising class that makes me want to scream bloody murder, so its impossible for me to do those projects apparently. i just try to keep in mind its something i'm going to be doing for the rest of my life so i might as well learn what i can while i can. at least before i'm thrown out on my butt and told to fend for myself :P

Why/how did you decided to be vegetarian and then vegan? Were there any foods that you liked that you had to give up? I personally am part time vegetarian, as in eat mostly veggies for health reasons and I'll eat meat every once in a while. What are your favorite vegan dishes?
i was vegetarian for like five years throughout high school and after, etc, but i'd be off and on and off again. my best friend shannon has been vegan for almost a year now and i've tried going vegan alone but i was totally ignorant in the matter so when she and i went on a long roadtrip at the beginning of august, it opened my eyes to a lot of things that are vegan and its not AS hard as one might think. (granted, its still insanely hard and less than convenient). it helps having someone thats a little more knowledgeable and informed to help you along the way. there were far too many things i hated to give up but by far the worst was my mom's chocolate gravy breakfast. you just don't even know :P and i love vegan pasta bakes so gimmie some pasta and some fresh veggies (zucchini, squash, red pepper) and i'm golden :D oh oh oh and also!!! Isa Chandra Moskowitz has a new article in every issue of BUST magazine (the mag i work for in NYC, it comes out every other month) and she's the author of SO many amazing vegan recipe books! you should look her up!

Have you traveled anywhere?
i have been to ten or eleven countries in europe (hungary, austria, switzerland, france, lichtenstein, germany, netherlands just to name a few) and all over the united states. i've lived in new york city and practically northern california apart from nashville. i love love love to travel.

What are some of your favourite websites? Not like social network sites, or tfln, but like blogs, and inspiration, and stuff. Do you have any favourites? or could you just link to some?
i just poke around tumblr a lot… ill go in the directory and click "quotes" or "love" or something and just jump from one tumblr to another. it's hands down the best go-to place. i also use ffffound.com and weheartit.com like no other. no specific blogs off the top of my head but also lookbook.nu :D

What is it like living in Tennesse? i've always wanted to go to the southern states ^_^
i love tennessee. its really unlike any other place. i realized it today in the plane when flying over. it just LOOKS different from other states you know? loveeeee. rolling hills, lots of trees, beautiful in the autumn. the weather can get you though! gah! hot then cold then humid and sticky sticky sticky! but i love just sitting in my room or on the twinkledeck with the doors ope and you can hear the bugs chirping. and the southern hospitality is one thing you grow oh so accustomed to.

What do you think was the best thing that you have ever done?
moving to new york city by myself. hands down. i learned so much about myself, my goals, my friends and family and just life outside of my little bubble here in tennessee. and as much as i hate to say it, it was the best thing ever that i did it while single. i wasn't attached to anyone back home. i was constantly relying on another person to pull me through my rough days. instead, i just dove head first into it. moved into an apartment in a part of town i'd never stepped foot in. never met my roommates prior… just did it. i wouldn't change a thing.

Do you have any phobias?
not really, although i'm PETRIFIED of spiders. a;dfjkals;dfjl;adsfj;aside. don't even get me started!

Who is your favourite charecter on the office?
andy probably. he's just…. andy. i love creed, too. and kevin. oh man don't make me choose!

would you judge someone with a skin condition?
oh my goodness, no. i realize it's almost impossible for any one person to be completely nonjudgmental and prejudice but i can safely say that i find nothing to judge in something like a skin condition. :) promise!

can we be bffs?
yes! but first you have to tell me who you are ;) i can't have an imaginary bff :P

are you a vegetarian?
no, i'm a vegan. i was vegetarian for 4 or 5 years through high school and after. i went back to eating meat for a little while after i had some health problems (i was a vegetarian but still wasn't eating healthy. i lacked a lot of essential nutrients and this made my immune system total crap.) i went vegan a few months back because my best friend shannon is also vegan. i find it to be much easier to transition into when you're not alone. it's very daunting and intimidating but she's been vegan for almost a year now so she's the go-to person for any of my questions :)

What do you hope to do once you graduate college?
this is a good question. it's one i've been playing around with a lot in my head recently. graduation is so close (december 2010!) and i feel like i'm totally unprepared for the world. the plan is to graduate with a bachelor of fine arts in visual communications (graphic design) and just basically go from there. i intern at BUST magazine in new york city during the summers so i'm crossing my fingers and praying that they may offer me a job after next summer (please cross yours for me! :D) because my heart is 110% in that publication. i love magazines and editorial layouts so i'd love to snag a job there as i've been doing for the summer. the women are amazing and new york city is my second (well, third) home city. however, if they just don't have room for me by january or may 2011, i've toyed with the idea of going back to college for a completely unrelated degree (marine biology!). granted if i were to do this i'd probably move to northern california to be with my boyfriend (he's in the bay area). i'm also looking at other magazines in new york city and san francisco to try and hit up :) BUT! my third choice is a quite exciting one… provided that the economy allots me the ability to do this, i may join the Peace Corps. it's something i've wanted to do since i was a tot and to have the ability to do humanitarian work and travel… it just sounds amazing. i'd have to commit 2+ years but i could always go through a different organization, too. we'll see! oh my, sorry for the long-winded answer! i just get so excited when i think about my future :D

How did you get into art?
funny story actually… in kindergarten i hated coloring… i mean i loathed coloring. my teacher actually spoke to my mom about it and my mom told her plain and simple "make her do her coloring sheets and make her do them right." sure enough i remember the day EXACTLY… i was coloring a christmas tree and ornaments and i just scribbled all over it, walked up to the teacher's desk and turned it in. she was not pleased. she sent me straight back to my seat to color in the lines perfectly and not bring it back until every inch of the picture was painted with a hue. my mom started working with me after classes in coloring books and drawing squirrels (silly!) but i started really taking to it and then all i ever wanted to do was draw and paint and make things pretty. i owe all of it to my dear mother and my awesome kindergarten teacher.

When did you meet Adam?
i met adam 5 years ago when i was 16 or so. i was with shannon and our friend chris at the movies. we ran into him in the parking lot and he was with his friends. we ended up talking to them and we all decided to go to walmart (we were in a small town). we all just hung out and junk but the funny thing is i remember totally NOOOOTTTT liking adam at all. i didn't think he was cute, i thought he was immature, etc. he was spraying stuff on the floor and sliding around in walmart, etc. we became friends on myspace but rarely spoke to each other. 2 years later i moved to his town (he was an hour and a half away from my hometown) and we had a mutual best friend. he kept trying to hang out with me and i would just blow him off continually. i really had no desire to hang out with him. then one night i was going to hang out with our mutual friend johnny b and he was with him so one thing lead to another and we were all 3 hanging out at steak n shake, hanging out at my place and johnny b's, then going to the park. adam and i hit it off pretty immediately and that was almost 3 years ago to the day (november 3rd!)… now look at us. basically 3 years into a relationship, we've lived together for over a year, and now we're doing the long-distance thing. amazing.

Why do you enjoy traveling so much?
i don't have a real answer for this aside from the fact i just never want to look back on my life and say "i wish i would have done that when i had the chance"… once i graduate college and get a "real job" in the "real world" i'll have to sacrifice the 3+ months of summer vacation and trade it in for MAYBE 1 or 2 weeks of down-time… and if i'm living in new york city or san francisco, the likelihood that i'll even be able to afford it is fairly nonexistent. so i jump at every opportunity now. i like to be cultured (even though that sounds silly). i've been to many cities i could see myself living in. honestly, if i could learn hungarian, i'd pack up and move to budapest. such a beautiful place. but then again it'd be too hard to leave my mother that far behind. new york city is rough as it is. i can't imagine adding 3,000 miles to that.

Where do you shop for clothes?
all the same stores as everyone else, honest. therapy, urban outfitters, forever 21, charlotte russe, goodwill, salvation army, wasteland vintage in san francisco, promod when i'm in europe. :D


Is it tough living on your own? Do you pay your bills and stuff, like your phone, rent, car, etc? I was just wondering because you only work on the weekends it seems. I just dunno how I would be able to afford living on my own and bills when I do only work on weekends.
i'm very fortunate to have the job that i do. i only work 10 hours a week (friday & saturday nights 9pm till 2am) and its a 45 minute drive each way. i've been bartending for 3 and a half years now. crazy! it sucks to give up every single weekend but its so worth it because its balances school and i can still afford to live my kind of lifestyle off those 10 hours. i wont go into too much detail like how much i make, etc, but the job i currently have gives me more money per year that 75% of people that are starting out after graduating college (i'm still going to graduate college, and possibly go back for a second unrelated degree, but it sucks to know that one day i'll have to give up the job that allows me so much financial freedom. i don't know how i'll make the switch ha) but not only that, my parents are amazing. they don't pay my way by ANY means! i've paid absolutely EVERYTHING on my own since i was 16 and got my first job. thats just how i am. i could never take hand-outs from my parents. it just feels liberating to be able to pay for myself and to be an adult in teh world ya know? i pay my rent, my cellphones (both iphone and sidekick), i pay for all of my school books, all of my clothes, all of my plane tickets, etc. the only thing i DONT pay for is my car. i drive a 2006 solstice convertible and it was my graduation present for graduating from high school in '06. thats the only thing my parents pay for. i've offered to take over payments (so i can trade it in for a Land Rover LR3) but my parents wont let me haha they're always willing and eager to help me if i need it, but i've never asked them for help :)

What made you and Adam get back together?
honestly, i think there's more to adam and i than just bullshit fights and third-party encounters. we needed that break up last november more than anything. it was something that HAD to happen. he needed to experience life as a single party-goer boy and do all of his boy things just like i needed to experience life as a single girl from a small town moving to the big apple. i had to find myself and so did he. we both got lost in exboyfriends and girlfriends and partying and all of that rite-of-passage stuff you read about. but after it was all said and done, we realized that we didn't need those things anymore and we were really really in love, that the two of us together put any of that partying and drug stuff to shame. i'm genuinely grateful for our experiences both together and separate. all that matters now is if we can share our pasts with one another in hopes that it will make for a better present and future. no one understands me like he does, and vice versa. we've definitely picked up a lot of slack for our attempts at reuniting but at the end of the day all that matters is that he and i are happy. screw everything else. :) another thing that really contributed in the breaking up/making up was we were SO young when we started dating. 17 and 18 years old. he lived at home with his parents and i had lived on my own for just over a year when we decided to get an apartment together. our parents actually suggested it. so he moved out of his parents and we got a place in franklin where we lived together for over a year. if youv'e never lived with your significant other, let me be the one to tell you things age QUICK. just over a year felt like 5 because we were basically a married couple. we went to work together, went to sleep together, ate every meal together, etc. for over a year. the break let us get ahold of our own lives again. we're more comfortable than ever with each other, but it feels new again. its nice.