woooooohhhweeee!

sometimes i think i am the single-most awkward girl on the planet. hand to God. i feel like i have the ability to make the most confident person just feel oh so strange in my presence. then again, 99% of the time its just ME that feels awkward in a situation. i love reading blogs and emails and such about girls and the boys they adore. whether they be crushes or boyfriends, fiances or husbands... its endearing. but anyway, i guess my point with that is... i wish i could stop being so shy! oh my word! i just get SILLY when a boy i'm interested in comes around. i suppose it also has a lot to do with the fact i've never had a REAL ADULT RELATIONSHIP. sure, adam and i were together for like 3 years... but i started dating him when i was 18... far from a real adult. now here i am, almost 22 years old, and i'm ready for that MATURE relationship. it'll be good when it comes around. i know it :) i guess i'm just nervous.

its strange to be where i am right now in terms of things pertaining to adam. i'm just... indifferent. granted, i want him to give me my $600 and my things that are in california, and it'd be nice if he'd deactivate the cs3 on the macbook he has of mine so i can register mine... but otherwise, i'm completely and totally impartial. i'm at a point where i find no need to facebook stalk or anything like that. i can finally breathe a sigh of relief! i know some of you still facebook stalk, don't you?! :P don't be ashamed!

one thing that does scare me though, is what if the next guy i meet and become attracted to has a shady crazy past like adam? what if he's hiding a turbulant relationship gone wrong where he really WAS the bad guy?! c'mon, we can all agree on one thing... adam was the bad guy and he just outright sucked at the end. what if this dude is really like that? how will i be able to tell?! granted his past is his past, but i dont want to waste another 3 years finding out a guy is a total doucher ya know? but i guess that is life. i should use the word "waste" lightly.. i learned a lot.. about myself and other people... during those 3 years. but thats definitely not to say i wouldn't sock him right in the kisser if i saw him tomorrow. boy oh boy i would :)

i guess this is where i say "not all guys are adam"... not all of them suck royally. :)


in other, totally non-related news, its now 2:15am and i'm sitting in my undies at my desk with my fat snoring puppy by my side and i've been crafting for hours. i shouldn't do that after midnight. my usually sloppy ways get even sloppier. i've been sewing and cutting and crafting polaroid (felt) ornaments and cutting fabric for hte fabric bunting that will line my newly decorated/rearranged room! i'm goign to be doing lots of fun things, lots of positive affirmations, and all thta jazz once christmas break rolls around. i can't tell you how much i'm looking forward to just moving crap around in my room! it'll be therapeutic!

(fabric bunting by sparklecandace)

i need to sleep so i can wake up at 8am, go get mice for Zero because my poor snake hasn't eaten in weeks, gather all of my stuff and laundry, load baby G in the car, go to the bank and high tail it down to hohenwald. i'll stay for a few hours, head back towards columbia to work at 8 (no clue when i'll get off.. sometime between 12 and 2am) then back to the parents to sleep, wake up and go to the stepdad's family's for thanksgiving dinner and who knows what else.

man oh man!

i hope all of you have a safe and happy thanksgiving! (and if you're not in the US, i hope you have a safe and happy wednesday/thursday! :P)

is anyone going black friday shopping?! i think i'm going to stay at home haha

ps; i bought myself an early christmas present today! a chocolate FujiFilm Instax Mini 7S! so so so so so so so excited! sadly it wont be here for 2-3 weeks (so says the site). but i hope it comes sooner! the instant pictures are the size of credit cards! so cute!