TFLN.

(850): hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
(904): not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
(850): i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.

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(315): Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love

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(847): Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
(708): We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.

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(262): Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?

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(217): The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.

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(570): can you come get me at the bar
(301): ill be there in 10 min
(570): can we stop off at build a bear on the way home

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(850): the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
(1-850): that makes sense

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(912): So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
(1-912): Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
(912): Someone who wants to read the newspaper.

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(314): I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?

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(501): he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???

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(404): You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.

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(817): youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?

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(503): after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.

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(434): KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.

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(via Texts From Last Night)

sometimes i wish my life could be this interesting. hahaha. i was definitely catching up on the site (since i hadnt read it in 5+ months) while in holistic wellness class this morning. we were having a discussion about the conscious mind, etc, and i couldnt help but burst out in laughter a few times. oops!