Showing posts with label body image. Show all posts
Showing posts with label body image. Show all posts

Friday, 6 August 2010

Body Image: What is fake? What is natural?

Someone asked me a question on my formspring and it really got me thinking. It's a specific question, but I generalized it into the entire spectrum of plastic surgery and body image. I thought it was a really good question and I wanted to open it up to the rest of you so I could hear your thoughts and opinions. Here is the question and MY opinion. (If your opinion is radically different, that's awesome! This isn't a debate and there is no right or wrong answer! This is merely a stating of opinions and beliefs! We can all be adults here!)

Question: What is your opinion of women who get boob jobs or plastic surgery? Do you think they're fake?

My answer (plus elaboration): Good question! No, I do not feel as though they are fake. There are some women out there who I PERSONALLY feel may be "overdoing" it, but I'm not in their body or mind, so I can't even begin to imagine how they seem themselves.

While I have always felt that I wish more women could be comfortable in their own/natural skin, even I am guilty of not feeling my best when I'm 100% natural. Yes, I do wear hair extensions, I dye my hair, I fill in my eyebrows and sometimes I sport colored contacts. But I do this because I feel comfortable doing it. I think people should do whatever they think is necessary to feel their best. If that means breast augmentation or veneers or covering their bodies in tattoos, so be it. I'm not that person so I don't feel comfortable passing judgement on anyone. The difference is, I wish people would make these changes because THEY want to... not because they feel like they will be more widely accepted by society (because we've all seen that this is usually not the case). Sometimes we see a gal with an obvious breast augmentation or pouty injected lips and we don't stop for one second to think about how they must see themselves. Instead, we pass judgement immediately and deem them "fake." To me, THIS is what is wrong with our society.

I may have come to terms with certain aspects of myself like my size or my not-so-perfect smile or whatever, and these are things that can be fixed with surgery or whatever else, but there are definitely days when I hate the way I look. We all have bad days. My teeth are too crooked or my face too round. My butt too big, etc. I don't feel like that makes me a hypocrite (though some will argue).

I wish we, as a society, didn't feel like we needed to play into someone's ridiculous image of the "perfect" man or woman, but we all fall victim to it at some point or another. This is something that could easily be fixed by changing our mindset to not automatically judge someone based on what we see. Either she's too fat or too fake or too tan or wearing too much makeup. Even the skinniest of gals have body issues. This "disease" of our mind does not have a target demographic. It's an epidemic that includes and infects every. single. person. whether we want to admit it or not.

Some of you leave comments to me saying you wish I'd be more "all natural" or go back to my dark hair or you love my red hair, etc. While I appreciate all of your comments and concern, even the opinions that are different from my own, I wish you could realize that I do these things because I feel comfortable doing them. Maybe I fill in my eyebrows because I'm self conscious of them without it. (Even if you think they're unattractive... it's not your place to judge me for it. and it's certainly not beneficial to anyone to leave unsolicited comments saying so.) People ask for pictures of me without makeup because I'd "look so much prettier" but they don't realize how detrimental comments like that can be! It's not suddenly okay to say those things because you pin a backhanded compliment to it. While I may parade around in many places without makeup or without doing my hair, I don't feel 100% comfortable posting those photos online because no matter what, SOMEONE will have some incredibly rude to say. Even if it's "you're so much prettier here! [without makeup]" because instead of taking that kindly, I'll start thinking "I look so fake!" when I wear makeup. It doesn't benefit anyone. Maybe Mary Ann likes her breasts to be a fuller C cup as opposed to her natural A's.... it's not our place to tell her they look awful. She's trying to feel better about HERSELF. She's not trying to please us. Just like I'm not trying to please you, and I don't expect you to try to please me.

What about the transgendered community? Do you feel like a "man" who undergoes gender reassignment surgery to become the woman he's always identified with is fake? He's bypassing nature, right? When you dumb it down to the very basics, you start to realize the flaws in our mindset. I'm not pointing the finger at anyone or blaming you, I'm just saying that we've all been there. We've all been the judge and the judged in life. Don't you think the world would be a better place if we accepted everyone for who they wanted to be and how they wanted to look?

Some people will argue that my use of hair extensions and colored contacts makes me fake or makes me a hypocrite because I preach that we should all love ourselves, but I think we should love OURSELVES most importantly. Mega emphasis on OURSELVES! We shouldn't have to love what our next door neighbor does with his beard (even if we think it looks a little weird). We don't have to necessarily agree with everything everyone else does, but we should respect it, as long as it's not hurting anyone. 

Anyway, I'm off my soapbox now! I just want to hear YOUR thoughts! Do you feel like plastic surgery or hair dye or extensions makes someone fake? Is there a fine line for you? 

(This is merely a discussion thread! Not to provoke or promote ignorant comments or remarks toward others! Please keep it civil!)








xoxo

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

FormSpring and Body Issues

I received this question in my FormSpring today upon getting home from work. I answered in a very, very, very long (and probably totally redundant) answer, but I wanted to share the question and answer with you all and see how you would answer it. (Even if you aren't a size 12 :P).


QUESTION: "i think you give inspiration to girls who arent stick thin; however, i am a size 12 and i have trouble finding guys to overlook my size and not think im fat or not datable, so in that sense im jealous that you have mike. i wish i could find my mike!"
MY ANSWER: well thanks, but first and foremost, a guy should never have to "overlook" your size! that's ridiculous! you are YOU! plain and simple! you are NOT the number on the tag of your jeans! if a guy won't date you simply because you're not a 2 or 4 or a whatever, then frankly, who gives a hoot! that guy obviously isn't worth his weight in dog poop anyhow! 
Yes, mike is amazing. absolutely. he's my prince charming, but not because he lowered his standards to date me (whoever has made you think that being a size 12 makes you unworthy of a date is absolutely looney!). i am NOT the tag on the dress i just bought. i am not the tag on the jeans i no longer wear. i'm not even the red hair and the tattoos that cover my body... i'm kaelah. i'm the personality inside of this body. i'm the intelligence inside of my brain.  
If you wear your size/weight on your shoulders, THAT is when guys will start to pass you up. they'll say "nah, no thanks" because you're so bogged down on yourself... you can't see the big picture. be proud of who you are. wear things that flatter your body, no matter if you're 100 pounds or 250! find comfort in your body because i honestly believe it when they say that no one can love you until you love yourself! 
Girls that overanalyze everything, down to the single tenth of a pound on the scale, are the kinds of girls guys don't want to bother with. they're too much. they're too much "me me me". instead, celebrate you as an individual, and celebrate the both of you as a couple. no one wants to be stuck around a negative nancy all the time!
You WILL find your mike. but first you need to find YOU. :) <3
Also, you can't wait for someone to come around and make you feel good about yourself. believe me. there are more people out there that want to bring you down more than anything, but you can't let them. you can't wait for a fella to come knocking on your door and rave over how gorgeous you are... until YOU make YOURSELF feel gorgeous. i love mike, yes. and i love that mike thinks i'm the most beautiful girl to walk the land even on days where i feel like absolute crap.... but guess what, even if i didnt have mike.. i'd feel the same way about myself. i love myself with or without a boyfriend, and you should too. 
We often get so caught up in being our own worst critic that we forget to also be our own biggest fan. <3




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With that being said, where do you stand on this issue? Is being "chubby" or "fat" or a "size 12" a proper way to toss someone from a potential dating pool? Just curious. I get questions like this all the time, so I thought I'd open it up and see what y'all had to say. How would you answer this question? 

Off to see a movie with Liz! I'll be back tonight!

xoxo

Sunday, 21 February 2010

Body Image, etc...

(this is my drunk face... even though i dont even drink alcohol haha)


so my post begins... last night I ended my post by saying there was a bit of controversy and drama in my formspring last night (oh, the love!) A lovely person brought it to my attention that a girl (whom I've never met) has been saying mean and malicious things about me on her tumblr/myspace/etc. Well well well... surprise surprise! The world is full of less-than-stellar people, and this girl in particular has already taken it upon herself to make herself look like a fool on many occasions. Basically, it merely boils down to this... a girl (who is very open about her disordered eating) is lurking my myspace/blog/twitter and posting on the happenings. Apparently she lurked my twitter, saw a twitpic I had posted, and wrote a tumblr post saying I was looking especially "chunky" blah blah blah. The Gist: A girl called me fat. Woe is me! My world is ending!... well... not quite. I've never met this girl in my life... she's merely friends with people I actually still never knew in high school. I won't drag it out and explain how I, even though I'm "chunky", still manage to be incredibly successful in my life.

The moral of the story is this: I don't care. I'm not hurt by the things she said. Apparently this surprised a lot of my FormSpring followers because I think they expected me to lash out in anger and revenge. So one girl doesn't like me.... so one girl thinks I'm fat... so what. I like me. I like my body. Mike LOVES my body. I'm happy. I'm healthy. I'm successful. Why on earth would one little girl make me question that? The answer: She wont. She doesnt. She isnt. :) The truly disturbing part is that even at my current weight, I'm happy with myself. She's starving/purging and still hating herself. Obviously that has to be the issue, right? I can't imagine why anyone would do that to themselves (Yes, I understand it's a disease, and I respect that... But just because you're unhappy with YOU doesnt mean you should project that onto others).

Anyway, enough about her. She wanted her fifteen minutes of fame and she got it. Congratulations A. You got your time in the limelight. You knew I had a following so you tried to use that to your advantage to get publicity.. you finally did... now thats all you'll ever get from me. :) Go you!


Now turning the post to the actual subject at hand: Why do so many girls find it easy to hate themselves? I used to talk a lot of trash in high school (don't most girls?!)... But I wasn't happy with "me" then... I was self-conscious, awkward, weird.... even though I had a ton of friends, played sports, was voted for several superlatives, was involved with so many school activities, and practically ran that place... I was so so so self conscious. So what'd I do? I'd rag on other girls just to make myself feel better. That was the "cool" thing to do. I was given a new opportunity when I graduated high school and moved away for college... I was able to portray myself in a new light... These new people hadn't met me, they didn't know I used to be a "mean girl".. I could be anyone... Well, I just wanted to be me... but the nice me. I found myself over the past 4 years and I've been able to come to terms with a lot of things...

1) No, I'm not the skinniest girl alive... well I'll be damned! It doesn't make me a bad person... I still have a lot of friends... Did someone forget to inform me that chubby is a disease?! How silly! So I'm not super skinny... big deal... I managed to have a boyfriend for 3 years, and more recently an even better one (see what I did there? :P)... Never once has he complained about my body. When I complain, he praises it. I know I don't have to be self-conscious around him. I managed to be chosen by Seventeen magazine as one of the 17 Best Dressed Girls in America... So apparently I can dress for my shape fairly well... I managed to be chosen Best Dressed and Most Likely to be Famous my Senior year of high school.... I managed to snag a dream internship (2 years in a row) and live in NYC on my own... I've been able to accomplish SO much... and guess what?!?! I WAS CHUBBY FOR ALL OF IT! Holy balls, it's possible y'all! :)

So much focus is put on weight for girls (and guys) today. It's ludicrous! People stop focusing on what a person is capable of and start focusing on the size on the tag of the clothing you're wearing. Even the most recent Fashion Week is exclaiming how the sample size needs to be resized! Size 2 and 4 models are fat!

I'd have all the same talents and abilities I do now if I starved myself down to skin and bones and lost 40 pounds so I'd be equivalent to her. Except then I'd be buying into the hype and depriving myself of things I like to do/eat haha Not interested! Plus, I get to wear things that look cute on MY body style... stuff that wouldn't necessarily look good on a lanky frame.

I just don't understand why people can't be happy with their bodies... This is what you have. Treat it well. Don't deprive yourself/it of things you need/like... but don't overindulge and shove it full of crap, either. Treat it with respect and you'll get the most out of it.

I love my body for what it does for me. I can run, jump, swim, skip, sleep, eat, breath.... I get to live my life daily.. Something that so many of us take for granted. Even if I were to starve myself down to skin and bones, I'm probably still going to be sitting at a size 6 or 8, just because I have those child-bearing hips that my Mama so graciously passed down to me. I enjoy going to the gym and working out, but if I want to eat a cupcake, well by gosh golly you bet I'm going to eat a cupcake!

I guess I've ranted on long enough.. I just wanted to bring it to everyone's curious minds that things like this girl do not bother me... She's going to hate me whether I'm fat or not... just because thats the kind of person she is. We've all encountered them. The important thing to remember is that people like her dont run your life... We've all got wonderful people around us that love us for who we are.. they're the ones whose opinions we need to listen to. Why would I care what she thinks of me if the person I crawl in bed with every night thinks I'm the most gorgeous thing to walk the earth? Exactly. And I'm so so very lucky to have that.

Even when you're in doubt with your body, just remember it's a piece of genius! The things it does for you and the things it allows you to do... it's incredible. Treat it with respect and adore it. If you think you're too round or too thin, do something about it if it bothers you! But otherwise, dress for your shape! This is the single most important thing! Dress. For. Your. Shape! The wrong piece of clothing can make a 110 pound girl look like she's 140... but in the same regard, the right piece of clothing can flatter a 140 pound frame and make you look 10 pounds lighter!

Sorry for my ridiiicccculously long post, but I wanted to get it out of the way early on so Mike and I can go enjoy our day and I can blog again tonight. (Didn't want to overload your dashboards with a bunch of hullabaloo!)

I hope you all have a magical Sunday!
xo